Eh, I'm bored. Let's see what I get:
Here's the Randomizer:randompokemon.com
Set Pokemon to: 'All Regions', 'All Types'
Set Generate to: '1'
Tag one or more friends when you're done.
(I don't know how to add pictures, so I'll just name them)
1. This Pokémon is your best friend: Slowking
Sure. Seemed like a cool guy in the movie.
2. This Pokémon is your boss that you need to impress for a promotion: Pyroar
I think I'm screwed.
3. This Pokémon is your partner for your science project: Mismagius
Looks like a good choice.
4. This Pokémon is looking for every way possible to murder you: Donphan
But I like Donphan.
5. This Pokémon is your mother-in-law: Klefki
My mother in law is a keychain. Okay.
6. This Pokémon is your boyfriend/girlfriend: Darmanitan
7. This Pokémon is your ex: Omanyte
My ex is the leader of a cult. No wonder we broke up. (I prefer the Dome, anyway.)
8. This Pokémon stalks you every waking moment: Monferno
Go be curious somewhere else, George. ¬¬
9. This Pokémon likes to snuggle with you: Kirlia It can also use its horns to cause a rip in dimensions and see into the future.
Nice Carrie. Nice...
10. This Pokémon ate all your cheesecake: Larvesta
I don't like cheesecake, so I don't mind, but should bugs eat that sort of thing?
11. This Pokémon is what you felt in your bed last night: Skrelp
Oh, Arceus, why?
12. This Pokémon punched your mom: Ambipom
The hell is wrong with you, bitch?
13. This Pokémon will do anything to try and steal your shoes: Charmeleon
Why? You have claws on your feet, you can't use them.
14. This Pokémon died by your own hands: Pumpkaboo
I think I just killed Halloween. Oops?
15. This Pokémon is your loyal companion for life: Noibat
I shall name you Toothless.
16. This Pokémon reads you bed time stories: Duosion
I guess it's using telekinesis to hold the books?
17. This Pokémon is your loving pet: Cubchoo
On the one hand, hell yeah, polar bear! On the other, how am I going to feed him when he grows up? I guess I'll find out later.
18. This Pokémon is your creepy dentist: Palpitoad
He doesn't have any hands. How did he become a dentists?
19. This Pokémon is what you dream about every night: Maractus
I dream about cactuses? Cactusi? What's the plural for "cactus"?
20. This Pokémon is what you found in your basement when you moved into your new house: Wobbuffet
Damnit, Jessie. I knew you were up to something when you showed up.
21. This Pokémon plays you in an alternate universe: Oddish
It avoids the sun, so he's a good candidate.
22. This Pokémon is your guardian angel: Conkeldurr
Come at me, bro.
23. This Pokémon wants to draw with you: Igglybuff
Can you even hold stuff with those hands? (Don't worry, you can still probably draw better than I can.)
24. This Pokémon is the first Pokémon you will encounter: Mienshao
So I will first go to Unova?
25. This Pokémon will take care of you when you're unable to: Chatot
I don't see how a parrot can be much help, but okay.
26. This Pokémon will be the cause of your death: Caterpie
I fucking knew it.
27. This Pokémon loves to steal your hats: Dedenne
Ha! Joke's on you, Fat Pikachu! I don't own any hats!
28. This Pokémon always borrows money from you: Reshiram
Nonono, don't worry just take the money. Please don't eat me,
29. This Pokémon loves to play video games with you: Stunfisk
Can you even hold a remote?
30. This Pokémon is in charge of tagging people: Timburr
Actually, no. No one has to do this. Unless they want to.